CARERS, RESCUERS, CARETAKERS, HELPERS, WOUNDED ADULT CHILDREN...
If there is one thing YOU fully grasp and implement in the year ahead, let it be this:
YOUR KINDNESS CANNOT AND WILL NOT CHANGE THE LONGTERM BEHAVIOUR
OF OTHERS, AND, IT IS NOT YOUR JOB TO RESCUE, SAVE, OR TRY TO GAIN THE AFFECTION OF ANYONE BUT YOUR DAMN SELF.
FOCUS ON CONTROLLING YOUR OWN BEHAVIOUR, INSTEAD OF OTHERS.
LEARN THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CARING FOR SOMEONE, AND BEING CARING OF, SOMEONE
No one 'made you' cry... the way 'you' perceived and processed the other's actions, inactions or behavior, resulted in 'you' feeling hurt, angry or disappointed.
Likewise, no one else 'made you' happy... the way you understood or thought of them or their actions, triggered the release of chemicals within you that made yourself feel good.
This does not mean that the other person is not kind, important, disrespectful or cruel. However what it does mean is that you have the c
So, as a Coach who is also a Psychotherapist, I am often asked what kind of things to look out for when first meeting someone.
Yes, I do give some red flags, and also suggest finding out about their family dynamics, what roles they play, how they deal with conflict and how it is dealt with within their family, and of course, paying attention to some more key issues 😉. If you want to know more, feel free to message me and let's book a session.
It has become far too easy to become an observer within our own lives; sharing motivational posts, enrolling on free online webinars that we never attend, and excitedly buying into the intentions that fuel our sense of 'doing'.... yet, never turning the intentions into actually DOING.
IT IS TIME TO BE AN ACTIVE PARTICIPANT IN YOUR OWN LIFE.
Before reposting anything, take the time to fully study, digest, and find active ways to incorporate the changes or reminders that mem
#Vegan lunchtime at Cafe Van Gogh. Delicious sticky 'ribs' of seitan, with a side of creamy mash potato and roasted Butternut Squash, and a dose of Self-Care.
Dessert was an Oreo truffle 😋
When was the last time you took yourself off for a lunchtime treat? A part of our Self-Care is enjoying moments with ourselves, doing something kind, nice, or supportive of our self. Yesterday, before all the Holiday shopping for others, I spent some time looking after myself, first.
Many proudly boast about their irritating levels of perfectionism: some even note it as a "weakness" in interviews, secrectly knowing this pushing of yourself, consistently striving for quality, and getting it right, regardless of personal loss and deterioration, is what some employers yearn... or so they think.
However, perfectionism is also a small internal cry that it is not enough, it is not good enough - maybe you are not good enough, or, if something is missed or not a
What a bitter sweet morning.
This morning I took our Bubby to have his first experience of snow. He was layered up, had a flask of warm camomile, and we left our dog at home knowing it's far too cold for her to be outside today.
We then saw another dog tied up outside a shop while the owner was inside getting bits. A few of us gathered outside awaiting the 'reckless owner' to give him or her a piece of our minds, as two of us angrily agreed this is no weather for dogs.
Too often, as women, we feel we have to explain why we are successful, why we have what we have achieved, why we are justified to stand and speak in front of others. We feel we have to prove and validate our worth and right to be here. A right to be powerful and heard.
I see it in the Corporate world as a Coach. Women asking for less than their pay grade when interviewing for jobs: minimizing their overall experience: taking on more tasks without asking for more money. Al