Women: We need to talk
(a video highlighting some subjects us as women can start talking about, especially with our daughters)
Some thoughts about the #metoo and our need as women to truly talk with each other.
This of course does not remove the onus on men needing to take personal responsibility for their actions, inactions, and need to also start talking - because let's face it, these women are using this hashtag not to gain attention (as some are saying), but as a powerful act of solidarity, and to raise awareness of how many women and girls are preyed upon simply because they were born female.
These hashtags, I hope, show you that regardless of how you view someone, be it stong, intelligent, successful, cheeky, assertive, rude, or opinionated, these things do not stop men from using their socially engineered 'power' to harass, victimise, abuse, rape, impose, or silence them.
We ALL need to talk about it.
To the Women,
As women, how many of you were sat down by a Mother and truly told her story? A story of truth, empowerment, sadness, pain, overcoming, struggle, and joy?
You see, for most women and girls, they have not had the privilege of being shown and taught about womanhood and the power of their femininity. Most cannot do a Cancer awareness Self Breast Check. Most can run a home and raise children on their own successfully, but do not know how to be a partner working in a partnership or marriage... instead yearning for independence, over interdependence, because that is all they have ever seen.
Most know they are from a broken home, or that they have a Father in the home who is financially or emotionally abusive, or dependent upon their Mother, but few can truly articulate how this dynamic happened, the effects of it, how to avoid it, and how to discuss these things in a healthy way with a partner, if they see it within their own relationship. Most cannot even go back to discuss their own troubles with their parent, because the ego of the Mother or Father to admit that they failed or are not perfect, results in them shutting down discussions, or gaslighting.
Some are the children of 'the other woman', yet do not know the circumstances, or how to walk away from similar experiences themselves, feeling empowered.
Most are repeating a family cycle of bad relationships, or being abused, yet have never had the powerful discussions about retracing the cycles to the core and breaking them. Most are the child of a Grandmother who was abused, who then had a daughter who was abused, who then, yes, went on to become the next generation who was not protected. Yet none of these women ever talk about it. None ever learning and then teaching the power of Self-Care, boundaries, and their right to say 'No' and have their voice heard and believed.
Us as women have a right to begin having our herstory known, and acknowledged, with the powerful lessons passed on to our daughters and sons so they can begin breaking the cycles.
You owe it to yourself. You owe it to them.
Begin having the conversations.
Novena-Chanel, The Equilibrium Coach® - www.theequilibriumcoach.com