So, as a Coach who is also a Psychotherapist, I am often asked what kind of things to look out for when first meeting someone.
Yes, I do give some red flags, and also suggest finding out about their family dynamics, what roles they play, how they deal with conflict and how it is dealt with within their family, and of course, paying attention to some more key issues 😉. If you want to know more, feel free to message me and let's book a session.
However, on a lighter note, with a dose of humour and seriousness 😄 (please, do not ask this question in this way 😂, BUT, it is crucial to find these things out 👍🏾), I have adapted a word meme I first saw on @blackbritishparent for some fun (and some serious questions to gently address with them, but first yourself!)
Dating when you're over 30, paying your own bills, living your life, and have no time to be anyone's Social Worker, Bank Manager, Support Worker or Mummy/Daddy replacement...
"How aware are you of the impact of your childhood on your patterns of relating with men and women in your relationships; how aware are you of your traumas and suppressed emotions, and how they play out in your intimate relationships and care of self, and please tell me how you are actively working to heal them so you do not project that shit on to me. Fire away, I'm listening...." 🤷🏾♂️😄
As a grown up it us your duty to truly get to know someone before fully allowing them into your intimate spaces and Life. It is a lesson some of us learn too late, but it is a lesson that has to be learned to continue to grow.
From Novena-Chanel, The Equilibrium Coach® - The Goal Architect to Mind, Body, Spirit, Life Balance™ - www.theequilibriumcoach.com