REMOVE THE 'PLEASE ACCEPT ME' LABEL FROM YOUR FOREHEAD

CARERS, RESCUERS, CARETAKERS, HELPERS, WOUNDED ADULT CHILDREN... If there is one thing YOU fully grasp and implement in the year ahead, let it be this: YOUR KINDNESS CANNOT AND WILL NOT CHANGE THE LONGTERM BEHAVIOUR OF OTHERS, AND, IT IS NOT YOUR JOB TO RESCUE, SAVE, OR TRY TO GAIN THE AFFECTION OF ANYONE BUT YOUR DAMN SELF. FOCUS ON CONTROLLING YOUR OWN BEHAVIOUR, INSTEAD OF OTHERS. NEXT... LEARN THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CARING FOR SOMEONE, AND BEING CARING OF, SOMEONE The latter means you relinquish the desire to change them, or rescue them by trying to keep them happy, well, and content. You stop trying to mind read and deliver, and instead, simply love and care for them, by encouraging and allowing them to love and care for themselves. Example: You stop constantly saying "I can do it for you" and volunteering yourself for tasks, and instead give them encouragement to do it themselves, or accept their right and choice not to help themselves. You are caring in your words, well wishes and encouragement, being considerate of them and towards them, without actively doing everything for them. After all, they are not a child. The former means you treat grown adults as children who you cater to, put first, and basically become the parent of. Whether this be parenting them directly (giving money, offering unsolicited support and advice, advocating for them, and providing for them), or parenting their inner child. You disempower them by doing everything for them, and then build resentment within them when they begin to feel disempowered, yet increasingly more demanding, as they grow to see it as your sole role in their life. You also fulfill your own incorrect belief that you have to give and be of use, in order to be loved... planting the seed of resentment within yourself, when the obligation becomes a burden, with little to no reciprocity. So give yourself permission to be caring of, without pouring all of yourself into someone else's bottomless cup. BE TO YOURSELF THE PERSON YOU TRY TO BE TO OTHERS. With that said, I am wishing you a blessed and productive week ahead; one that truly exceeds all expectations and brings the breakthroughs you need to heal. From Novena-Chanel, The Equilibrium Coach® - The Goal Architect to Mind, Body, Spirit, Life Balance™ - www.theequilibriumcoach.com  

#SelfCare #carers #rescuers #caretakers #narcissisticabuse #dealingwithsomeonewithBorderlinepersonalitydisorder #helpers #sayno

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