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One of the things I love about my work as a Counsellor/Psychotherapist is the studying and experiencing of others who so beautifully entrust me with their story. I am always honoured by their honesty. The thing I have come to truly appreciate and recognise is that trauma is almost always traceable within the family tree. Like the size of a distinctive nose, or face shape, generations are passed down the traumas and experiencing of their family. Almost like a family karma. Whether this be a Mother who had issues with her Mother who know struggles with her own children, or a Father who suffers with low self esteem and feels disrespected, the children and next generations become expressions of this. Some may argue this is through learned behaviour, but how then do we account for children who never met an absent parent, yet shadow the parent's failures, behaviours and experiences? Be it alcoholism, poor bonding with children, betrayal, the inability to express emotions, or being attracted attracted to a certain type of partner. The family 'karma' continues until the healing is completed. If you find that you struggle in relationships with lovers, friends, business, and/or even self, it is time to stop and study your family tree; Identify where the trauma started. I am yet to meet a man or woman who has deep rooted issues, disconnection, anger, or unfinished business with their parents, who is in a fulfilling, loving, peaceful, and happy relationship. Even when I have met a few, depression, money worries, betrayal, fear, being disrespected, and a feeling of not being enough or being valued enough, always prevails. Begin by asking yourself what you are struggling with, (what is your frequent complaint and experience) and then draw your family tree, highlighting the themes in three generations, be it abandonment, bereavement, abuse, affairs, or mental health. Trace that pain back and start healing it. Stand in their shoes, feel their pain, acknowledge it, acknowledge them, and then tell them that you are breaking the cycle and healing. It ends with you, and starts a new, with you. If you are committed to doing the work and are ready to heal, email me at, or visit my website at, and let's start the journey together. It's time to heal. With that said, I am wishing you a blessed and productive day ahead; one that truly exceeds all expectations. From Novena-Chanel, The Equilibrium Coach® - The Goal Architect to Mind, Body, Spirit, Life Balance™ - 

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